What If We Let Them Rest?

(When the pressure lifts)

When school was out, my Jamaican parents did not believe in rest.

Days off were not really days off. If we were not in school, that just meant there was something else to do. Cleaning. Reading. Practicing. Helping. Sitting still for too long raised questions. Saying you were bored meant someone would quickly find a task for you.

They were loving, hardworking parents who believed deeply in discipline and making the most of every opportunity. Rest simply was not part of the plan. Maybe that is why I was always a little jittery as a child, always moving, always on edge, even when nothing was being asked of me.

I think about that often now when school breaks roll around and I watch children slow down. Sleep later. Wander. Do things that have no clear purpose other than enjoyment.

And I notice how different they feel.

The holidays bring something rare: a pause.

No homework. No tests. No emails from teachers. No rush to be anywhere by 7:45 a.m.

And if you pay attention during this break, you might notice something about your child.

Maybe they are sleeping later. Playing more. Laughing easier. Maybe they are bored, and that is okay. Maybe they are picking up old hobbies they dropped months ago or spending hours doing something that has no purpose other than the fact that they enjoy it.

This is what they look like without the weight of performance.

And it matters.

When nothing is being measured

For many children, the school year is not just about learning. It is about managing expectations. Staying on top of everything. Not falling behind. Being good at things quickly. Looking like they have it all together.

Even when they do not.

The break gives us a glimpse of who they are when they are not trying to be anything. When no one is measuring them. When there is no rubric, no grade, no comparison.

This is true whether a child is in a traditional classroom, learning at home, or part of a small learning community. The pressure may show up differently, but it is still there.

What parents tend to notice

They seem lighter. More playful. More like themselves.They ask fewer anxious questions about what they should be doing.They return to interests that quietly disappeared during the school year.They spend time with you differently, more present, less distracted.They stop talking about school altogether, and that feels like relief.

These are not signs that school is wrong.

They are signs that rest is doing its work.

What rest actually gives them

We tend to treat rest like a reward. Something children earn after they have worked hard enough.

But rest is not a luxury. It is a biological need.

When children truly rest, not just pause between tasks, their brains consolidate learning. Their nervous systems reset. Their bodies release stress that has been building for months. Sleep, unstructured play, and boredom all support brain development, emotional regulation, and creativity.

Chronic stress and overscheduling do the opposite. They can interfere with memory, focus, and resilience. Over time, a child’s nervous system can stay in a constant state of alert, learning that rest is something to feel guilty about rather than something essential.

Rest is not doing nothing.It is doing quiet, necessary work.

As the new year approaches

January often comes with pressure. New goals. Fresh starts. Getting back on track.

But instead of adding more, it may be worth asking a different question.

What does my child need more of this year?

Not more activities. Not more rigor. Not more optimization.

But more space to be curious without pressure. More permission to try things and be bad at them. More time with adults who see them beyond their output. More moments where they do not have to perform.

Sometimes growth is not about acceleration. Sometimes it is about protection.

As school resumes

Pay attention to how they show up in the first week back.Notice what they say they missed most about the break.Look for small ways to protect rest and play during the year.Trust that downtime is not wasted time. It is often where growth takes root.Remember that no system knows your child better than you do.

The holidays remind us that children are more than their grades, their schedules, and their achievements.

They are whole people.

And they need space to remember that too.

As we step into 2025, maybe the most meaningful thing we can do is let them rest. Not just during breaks, but as a rhythm. As a value. As something we intentionally build into their lives.

Because children who learn how to rest often grow into adults who know their worth is not tied to productivity.

That is a lesson worth protecting, no matter how or where our children learn.

Reflections

How was rest handled in your household growing up?

Were breaks truly breaks, or just time to catch up on something else?

How do you think that shaped the way you approach rest with your own child now?

About the Author

Nadine Smith is the founder and executive director of The Gathering Place, a girl centered learning lab and microschool community. A former principal and longtime educator, she is known for leading with heart and vision, building schools where children grow academically, feel loved, and leave inspired. She brings a futurist perspective to her work, imagining and building learning spaces rooted in relationships and possibility.

www.TGPLearningLab.com📧 info@tgplearninglab.com

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